Gutted

February 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm | Posted in General | 3 Comments
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Wotcha everyone,

Both of my regular readers will be fully aware of my ongoing attempts to get Shaman Herewerd raiding in World of Warcraft.  There was leveling through Cataclysm’s new high level zones, followed by heroic instancing, followed by binges on the Auction House, followed by gemming and enchanting and all sorts of min-max-tweaky-loveliness.

Then there were the first few attempts where I attempted to get back up to raiding speed, followed by rising up through Recount’s damage meter.

There was also the joy of being present at a number of first kills for the guild, and that was the source of some very good feelings.  It might have taken some hours at times, but it’s a lovely change from just turning up at the farming stage and hoovering up the goodies.

Through this time, I’ve been a trialist with the guild.  I can understand having a trial policy; before letting someone onto the full roster, the guild wants to know if any given player (me, in this instance) is going to be someone who enhances the team, or if they play like a howler monkey with an itchy groin.  And the guild I am with is a nice, welcoming place.  Trialists get as fair a deal as the rest of the guild when it comes to opportunities to go raiding, and trez, and support from the other members.

Last night, after the raid, I was involved in a chat with one of the raid leaders, and whilst it was never (in the end) asked, I’d like to think I was going to be asked if I wanted to join the roster.

I was not asked because, before I could be asked, I asked to not be considered for the roster at this particular time.

Yeesh.  Even as I write that, my headbrain keeps shouting; “Thicky Hawley!  You’ve been working towards this since Cataclysm launched!  Thicky thicky thicky!”  Headbrain is also tempted to add some head/desk interfacing at speed in there.

But despite my feeling-stupidness (the Germans probably have a long and cool-sounding word for “feeling-stupidness”.  Being completely inept with other languages, I shall just have to stick with the generally rubbish-sounding English version), I felt it only fair to inform my guild that I couldn’t devote the time that World of Warcraft raiding requires.

At the moment, the raid team is selected about an hour before the raid start, from the available signups.  It’s largely because margins are so tight between success and failure that gear analysis is a necessary part of team selection, and because gear is changing so rapidly (even between raids, due to the myriad methods of gaining gear), it’s difficult to put together the best raid team with more warning.

It’s a system that is working for the raid as a whole, and I’m not going to challenge it.

But right now, I could really do with a couple of days notice.  My lovely lady has a *lot* of relatives, and they’re all coming to visit her parents recently.  Seeing as most of them are traveling some considerable distance, it’s only fair that I put some effort into going to see them.  And whilst my lovely lady is aware of high-pressure geekery such as MMO raiding, and is willing to accept; “Sorry dearest, need to go and kill stuff with fellow geeks online” as an excuse, she loses tolerance when I’m sat in front of the pc idly clicking because I’m not needed for the raid that night.

Whilst my lovely lady will acknowledge that my hobbies are important to me, she can also tell the difference between me raiding and me farming, and has every right to get tetchy because I’m not doing what I said I’d be doing, and she’s stuck at home not meeting relatives or going out for a lovely meal with them because I said I’d be busy.

It’s also a busy period at work, which usually means being more tired than usual and more likely to get in late.  This impacts both opportunities for and desire to go farming to get all those raid supplies that are needed.

It got so that, even after a few short weeks, I was on the verge of becoming resentful about *having* to raid, and that’s not a place I particularly want to go.  I was enjoying the raiding, even the multiple wipes bit, but the logistical side of gaming was causing all the problems, all the hassle.

In the end, all I could do was ask to be a last minute substitute; if they need an extra body to make up the numbers, or if they need a particular skill-set, give me a shout.  I know when the raid times are, so if I’m on I can most probably cover, if not give me a shout and if I can come on, I will.  For my part, I’ll try and keep Herewerd raid-ready as much as possible.

It might mean I never get asked again, but that’s better than having to state I’ll definately have to drop out.

Big fat sigh.

There is a part of the headbrain that is quite happy at this state of affairs, though.  It’s the part that knows that hobbies are fun, but no substitute for a busy and fulfilling social life.  We have visitors, we go out, and we are able to be a part of a wider community.  Since the earliest of my Everquest playing days, I’ve never allowed MMO gaming to take precedence over going out into the real world to be social, and I refuse to start now.  The fact that I have to make that choice is a sign that, from a social standpoint, my life is win right now.

The unfortunate side-effect of me standing down as an active raid-wannabe is taking a step back, looking at World of Warcraft, and asking (in a rather accusing tone); “What are you *for*?”

I suppose I shall find out the answer to that over the next few weeks.

Cheers,
Hawley.

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3 Comments »

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  1. You did the right thing and you know it. RL > game, no matter what.

    You do have the right to whinge about it a bit though. 😀

  2. Dummgefühl. Or possibly Blödgefühl. 😉

  3. Get the Mrs an account…problem solved!


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